Family is an interesting assortment of people.
Families come in all shapes and sizes having one loud gossip, one with a love of drinking, a wealthy uncle, an aunt with a lot of interesting stories, one with the most kids, one who knows everyone and everything. These various dynamics make you come across some situations which makes it really awkward for you on your big day.
You wouldn’t want any argument starting up right before your wedding that would result in alterations in the seating arrangements.
It's not only that you have to ensure that everyone plays a good part from your end, but also work the things to run smoothly with the bride’s family, which soon will be an addition to your family too.
Here are some tips on how to deal with arranging your wedding when there may be family complications in your or your bride to be's family.
• I have chosen a best man who is not exactly my fiance's favorite person:
The wedding is a special day for both of you. It isn’t only your day or hers. The bride has to respect and consider the happiness of her husband-to-be. Even if she doesn’t like the best man but definitely they can meet somewhere in the middle.
Make her understand that isn’t important for you only but the best man as well who is probably your best friend. Compromising and letting go of few of the personal differences will not harm the bride. And surely if you make her understand she will understand.
Another thing for you to do is have a discussion with your best man as well. Such dislikes aren’t hidden and he’s probably aware of it too. Usually this happens when boys are being just men and that surely is the concern that your fiancé has how he behaves at the wedding.
Let him know that lets do all the partying and fun in the bachelor party and after party but let the wedding go smoothly. Having a discussion with both will ensure you having a civil wedding.
• My parents don’t get along, how to seat them without making it too prominent?
Well, first do not seat them together. Understood that it is your big day and you would want the things to go just fine, but when there is a possibility, (a definite one rather) that they won’t be civil to each other it is better they are far from each other.
Seat them on different tables with a bunch of their friends and family members. This practice should be applied to your siblings as well so it is evenly spread and wouldn’t be noticeable either. Everyone will have a good time with their own circle.
As long as you don’t end up isolating any one person, people would not notice it they will just see that the members of the host family (if you are hosting) or the groom’s family is evenly spread out with their families and friends. Handle it with consideration and elegance.
• My parents are divorced and both have remarried. What to write on the invitation card?
This is not such a big problem. The wedding invitations is issued by the family who are paying whether its the couple, parents of the bride or parents of the groom.
You could add the names as hosts otherwise it is usually the people who are paying for the wedding.
It is on the type of wedding the couple is having. Formal wedding calls for a very formal invitation if it is casual, casual wording is just fine.
• My mother doesn’t like my fiancé:
It can be complicated to get married to someone your mother disapproves of. Sometimes you have to make some tough decisions in your life. Adulthood brings that.
Make your mother understand that you really love her and nothing is going to change your mind. You do not want to create a scene which makes her see you as an immature person who is not ready for marriage.
Tell her that you have made a decision so that she knows you have made up your mind. It is a possibility that she sees something in her which reminds her of a bad experience she had.
While she is the one who had those experiences, it wouldn’t harm to show consideration. She is your mother and has the best intentions at heart, but you need to convince her that this is what makes you happy and you are getting married.
It will take some time but she will come around saying that your fiancé is going to be part of your family and may end up extending the olive branch. Parents do get stubborn sometimes and you have to reason with them, but they do soften after some time.
Just be gentle but persistent that it is your final decision. Let your partner in on this too, because she isn’t the reason of this issue.
If you stay patient and keep yourself level-headed you can resolve all the problems easily and will have a smooth wedding. These people you are concerned about are your family and friends and though they might act as children at times, are adults and they love you. There’s nothing that they wouldn’t do to make you happy.